Archive for August 8th, 2010

August 8th, 2010

Jean-Michel, Taylor, Britney, and Tamra







  I interviewed Ms. Tamra Davis, director of the above three projects and many more. Read it on Bust.com

August 8th, 2010

Old Spice Guy + FEMINIST HULK + Judith Butler

Old Spice Guy: "Hello, FEMINIST HULK. I observe that you are using lady-scented body wash."

Feminist Hulk: "HULK FIND LAVENDER FRAGRANCE RELAXING AFTER DAY OF SMASH."

Old Spice Guy: "Wouldn't you like to smell like me?"

Feminist Hulk: "HULK WOULD RATHER SMASH GENDER BINARY OF PERFORMATIVE SHOWERING."

Old Spice Guy: "Your tiny purple shorts hanging on the towel rack now hold tickets to the Sleater-Kinney reunion concert. And diamonds."

Feminist Hulk: "HULK ENJOY CORIN TUCKER'S REJECTION OF TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES AND CONSUMERISM. BUT DIAMONDS MAKE HULK WANT TO SMASH HEGEMONY OF POST-COLONIAL OPPRESSION. ALSO, STILL PREFER TO SMELL LIKE FIELD OF FLOWERS."

Old Spice Guy: "You puzzle me, Feminist Hulk. Your wish to use lady-scented body wash, even whilst smelling the intoxicating scent of my Old Spice, is unparalleled in my experience. "

Judith Butler: "Feminist Hulk makes a good critique, Old Spice Man. Your discourse is being circumscribed by a learned sex/gender distinction. Please pass me the loofah."

Old Spice Guy: "Hello, Judith Butler. Allow me to scrub your back. So you and Feminist Hulk are saying that my devotion to Old Spice body wash might be part of a larger regulative discourse to maintain an essential ontological gender?"

Judith Butler: "That's correct, Old Spice Man."

Feminist Hulk: "HULK SMASH EPISTEMOLOGICAL FRAMEWORKS, WHILE SMELLING LIKE SPRING GARDEN."

Old Spice Guy: "I understand. Allow me to bake you a cake, Feminist Hulk and Judith Butler, while we discuss intersectionality and the beauty of giant green muscles."

Judith Butler: "Congratulations on making a break with compulsory heterosexuality, Old Spice Man."

Feminist Hulk: "HULK IS VERY HAPPY TO SHARE TEARS OF JOY AND ORGANIC WHOLE WHEAT PASTRY FLOUR WITH OLD SPICE MAN AND JUDITH BUTLER."

Old Spice Guy: "I'm on a unicorn."

From www.femonster.tumblr.com

August 8th, 2010

Get Your Catnoise Ready

My brilliant cat-loving friend Ms. Fawn Fitter shared the above video. I maintained composure until approximately 1:22, when I made what I can only describe as my “cat noise” of post-linguistic joy, a noise I have also been known to make when looking at certain Miu Miu or United Bamboo outfits. My only issue is—why must these giant kitties get their catnip in paper bags? Can we not procure some giant catnip mousies for them, or more species-appropriate catnip hyenas or zebras?

This is reminding me of one of my favorite cat dreams, in which both of my cats grew to about my size and we took cat-human spooning to a level of cuddliness that I still hope to someday replicate. The next day I excitedly told Jens about the dream and he looked at me and said, “Giant cat box.” He hates for me to be happy.

What the hell, I will tell you of my other favorite cat dream. It is Sunday!

Back in 1997 I was the editor-in-chief of a certain publication, which was super fun but also extremely stressful in various ways. There was a lot of rallying of the troops involved and cheerleading and handholding and in my worst moments I felt a bit like one of those mama birds confronted with a nest of yawing mouths demanding encouragement. (Note: This is totally a base, emotional reaction. The reality is that I worked with a group of very talented, lovely, and driven people who were and are still my best friends. I’ve probably mentioned before that my dreams are embarrassingly obvious and you will see that this one is no exception.)

I and my co-workers—who weren’t their individual selves, just a sort of random group—were trapped beneath the Earth’s crust! We were on sort of  planet inside the planet, and we were on the march, looking for a way to somehow get up to the Earth that was encircling us and push through the crust back to our rightful place. Everyone was tired and complaining and wondering if we were going the wrong way, or the right way, or were we going in circles, and was there even a point to moving around, maybe we should stay in one place, and various aches and pains, while I, ever noble, continued to lead the way.

Eventually we came to the edge of the land mass that we were on and looked across an expanse of water. We could see a small island with a tall tree on it. Above the island was a hole with sun streaming down. It looked as it a piece of the outer planet had fallen into the sea, forming the island, and leaving the only access to the outside world we could find.

I came up with a plan. We would swim to the island, chop down the tree, build a ladder with the wood, and climb up and out of our predicament. No one was down with this. They were worried about sharks, or strong currents, about getting wet, etc. “Fine,” I said. “How about if I swim across by myself, chop down the tree, build a boat, and come back for you. Then we can sail back, take the boat apart, build a ladder, and escape that way.” In my dreams I am both noble and martyr-y! Everyone thought this was a great idea, which angered me but made me no less noble. As I took off my clothes and waded into the water, I said, “Anyone who wants to come with me, can. That would make it go a lot faster.” I began swimming towards the island.

I was fuming as  I swam, but also thinking ahead as to how I could build a boat that would also be a ladder. By myself. At some point I became aware that there was someone swimming along behind me. Yes! I looked back to see who my leadership had inspired. IT WAS MY KITTYCAT MONSTER! She was swimming along loyally, looking at me with her whiskers above the waves and her little paws keeping her afloat. Could any cat be more steadfast and loving? I think not. They don’t like water, you know.

I woke up from my dream and gave her extra kisses, which I am going to do now.

The end.

August 8th, 2010

Pedigree Wall

artwork that is a chart of sperm donor histories with drawings of sperm and collection devices superimposed

By Faith Wilding, 1997. “Framed, certificate-like detourned (with drawing and text) actual sperm donor profiles and sperm donor fitness tests obtained from fertility clinics.”

Sometimes it takes me a while to get to Ms. Wilding’s work because her name is the most complex and beautiful thing. Faith Wilding. Can you imagine faith on a rampage? Radical belief in something? Anything?

August 8th, 2010

The Seduction of Nostalgia

“The past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we don’t have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.”

—Virginia Woolf (via hootowlchild, fuckyeahlesbianliterature)