Sometimes I feel like parts of the past, my past, our past, are heading at me like a tsunami. I don’t know if I am supposed to hide from it, or protect it, or explain it, or embrace it.
I imagine P-Squared of York’s castle decor is something like this.
“What I would like to do right now is save a couple of kids.” Oh sweet Dean of my heart.
I am: IN LOVE WITH PRINCESSES EUGENIE AND BEATRICE. BEAGENIE!! EUTRICE!! ! THE CROWN PLEAZERS!
I mean, just look. At them. I bet whenever they show up anywhere the other royals are like, “Shit, here comes P-Squared of York,” and Eugenie (EUGENIE) and Beatrice are like, “We take your hate and make it into hats. Also, we will never fix our teeth or abandon the nude lip.”
Eugenie seems to favor hats more of the taco-vagina genre, while Beatrice clearly shares my interest in horseshoe crabs and other forms of wildlife.
Check out how cute they are with their Prince-cousins. I do not know how I have lived one moment of my life until now, in ignorance of their statements.
The above is my imaginary childhood photo of P. Bea. (Sharpeyed readers will notice that it is actually Ms. Taylor Momsen of Gossip Girl, doing some movement work as a non-cartooned Cindy Lou Who.
It’s lonely out in space.
Have I mentioned my brilliant idea for a menstrual advent calendar? You get a piece of chocolate every day, calibrated to your hormonal needs. On launch day (communists in the basement, sharks in the water, etc.) you get a rocket or maybe just a personal jetpack.
And did you know women were barred from spaceflight for 20+ years bec of fear it would affect their menstrual cycle? There is literally nothing I cannot tie back to ladytime.
Oh and photo by annaholmes, who is at this very moment in Launchtown, USA. The real one.
You guys Brainticket, Nektar and the dude from Hawkwind are touring this summer. I’m kind of flipping my lid.
I’m at Ikea with Jen. She is looking for a placenta container.