Archive for September 10th, 2012

September 10th, 2012


September 10th, 2012

"Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything…."

“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.”


Andrew Boyd (via coffeeislovely)


(via sleepydumpling)

September 10th, 2012

kanjogirl: 7 Social Hacks For Manipulating People 1. Whenever someone is angry and…


7 Social Hacks For Manipulating People

1. Whenever someone is angry and confrontational, stand next to them instead of in front of them. You won’t appear as so much of a threat, and they eventually calm down.

2. Open with “I need your help.” People don’t like the guilt of not helping someone out. When asking for a favor from someone, begin your request by saying “I need your help.” It greatly increases your chances of getting that favor done. 

3. Rephrase what the other person says and repeat it back to them. This makes them think you’re listening and really interested in what they’re saying. It makes them feel validated. Obviously, you don’t want to overdo this.

4. If you want someone to agree with you, nod while you talk. This gets the other person to nod too, and they begin to subconsciously think they agree with you.

5. If someone doesn’t like you, ask to borrow a pencil. It is a small enough favor that they won’t say no, and it gets them to like you more.Check out the Benjamin Franklin effect for more explanation.

6. Fold your arms to determine interest. If someone is observing you, they will likely mimic you. Fold your arms, and see if they do it, too.

7. Repeat a person’s name many times during a conversation. It helps you remember it, and makes them like you more.

This is the best creepiest thing ever. Can I have a pencil?

September 10th, 2012

mmmightymightypeople: how on earth can we do anything else but compare/contrast margaret mitchell…


how on earth can we do anything else but compare/contrast margaret mitchell calling black women who were in service positions to her— animals throughout GWTW—with lena dunham, who says she doesn’t have any black friends and so doesn’t feel “comfortable” writing about black characters?

how can we do anything at all but check the steps, one, two, three, four, as bill clinton would do, from a white woman whose only relationship to black people was through service positions to a white woman who says she doesn’t know any black people at all? is it an *accident* that white women who manage to make it into positions of power either set their character’s relationship with black women firmly in the owner/boss and slave/worker dynamic, or black people don’t exist at all?

are we supposed to believe that this has nothing at ALL to do with segregation, white supremacist heteropatriarcy and injustice?

is a liberal white *F*eminist who has segregated herself away from people of color all that different from a conservative white woman who thinks black people are the N word?

kinder politer segregation is still segregation. and that segregation is absolutely being used to position white women in power.

September 10th, 2012

What it’s like to move to New York City when you’re young and not rich


A few days ago, The New York Times published an article called “The Launching Pad,” about four new college graduates finding their first apartment in New York City. Each had a budget of $1000-2000, and “by coincidence, all four wound up in Manhattan, despite the fact that Brooklyn, and increasingly parts of Queens, attract great numbers of renters.” Although it’s clear that the methods used were hardly scientific, this is the kind of article that could give you the idea that you can’t move to New York if you’re not rich or don’t have a lucrative job lined up.

This is not the truth. I can’t speak to whether it’s a great idea to come here straight out of college, without prospects or savings. In fact, I can’t even say that it was the right choice for me, because, seven years later (and despite relative job security), my future still feels uncertain. That isn’t the point, though. The point is, you don’t need to have $1000 a month in rent money to live in New York as a 22-year-old, and it matters that young people realize this, or our already considerable “entitled asshole” population is going to take over the city. Very few people I know have arrived here with that kind of income. I don’t pay that much in rent now.

Here’s how I got to New York City: I graduated from college in Baltimore, where I lived in a house with five other people and paid less than $300 a month in rent. A few days later, half-exuberant but also half-paralyzed by the idea that our lives were very much on the record from now on, four of us packed everything we owned (pared down considerably in anticipation of how little space we’d have) into a Uhaul. It took forever to pack that truck, because we were trying to fit everyone’s bed, desk, dresser, etc. into a vehicle that was only supposed to fit the contents of a one-bedroom apartment. We left in the dark — me, my boyfriend, two other guys — waving to our friends who were still in town. A group of them sat on our stoop watching as we got ready to go. Hopefully my memory isn’t embellishing this, but I think I remember there were some tears. It wasn’t just about us leaving, it was about everyone’s lives changing at the exact same time.

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