Archive for January 12th, 2013

January 12th, 2013

Basically I’m glad I went. It meant a lot to my brother, and I’ve not been an awesome…

Basically I’m glad I went. It meant a lot to my brother, and I’ve not been an awesome sister to him. It made a lot of peace between us. I’m still upset and angry about various things, but that’s ok. Mostly I’m so happy I have friends old and new who help me remember and protect my best self.

January 12th, 2013

After 9/11, my dad called. We hadn’t spoken in seven years or so. “Are you OK?” he…

After 9/11, my dad called. We hadn’t spoken in seven years or so. “Are you OK?” he said. Yes, I told him. Then he started asking me if I had been talking to his wife, because he was in the middle of a divorce. “I didn’t even know you we’re married again, or getting divorced again,” I said. He was relieved. I guess her lawyer had made some remark that scared my dad that she had some dirt on him or something. I realized this was why he had called.

He also used to call on his birthday (or Father’s Day) sometimes, I think so that then he could tell his friends he had talked to his kids.

January 12th, 2013

My parents’ wedding.



My parents’ wedding.

January 12th, 2013

All these men were coming up to me and crying. They had flown in from all over the country….

All these men were coming up to me and crying. They had flown in from all over the country. “Your dad was so special,” they said. “He was so proud of you and your work at Wired magazine.”

I’ve never worked for Wired magazine.

January 12th, 2013

Dad with me and sister.



Dad with me and sister.

January 12th, 2013

Washing our first dog. I don’t know why it looks like I am…



Washing our first dog. I don’t know why it looks like I am wearing a pearl necklace.

I’m going to be real here. The dog was a black labrador, and his name was Stokely. He didn’t live with us for long, he tore up my mom’s camellias and I have no idea what happened to him. Years later I learned about Stokely Carmichael in school and realized about the dog and I am still ashamed. My dad, for his faults, went out of his way to befriend the few black kids in our home town, and definitely instilled the best non-racist practices in us as I think he could. (I am not saying I am a perfect racism-free person, far from it, and obviously I have benefited greatly from white supremacy, and continue to.) I’m sure he thought it was funny, but it’s so shocking and so ugly and such a reminder that we can’t ever be outside the situation. You can pick it out of a photo and have your breath run out of you as you wonder who to apologize to.

January 12th, 2013

Dad and brother.



Dad and brother.

January 12th, 2013

Dad and brother, in White Meadow Lake maybe.



Dad and brother, in White Meadow Lake maybe.

January 12th, 2013

Doing yard work and smoking.



Doing yard work and smoking.

January 12th, 2013

My dad with wife #2. I have no idea who those kids are.



My dad with wife #2. I have no idea who those kids are.