I feel lonely, but I have people around me all the time.
I feel sad, but I don’t bother trying to be happy.
I want to interact with others, I want to be there for them more. I want to have friends. But I rely too much on waiting on them to speak to me instead of speaking up.
I want to be happier, I want to do everything I can to make life more enjoyable, to make what little time I have mean something to others and I. I want to smile and make others smile in return, but I end up holding myself back. I do nothing but prevent myself from being happier. I deny myself the happiness I desire because I refuse to pursue it.
I’m tired of being dead, I want to live life. I’m tired of living the way I do now and want to die.
I hate being such a self destructive little brat.
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Sunday, September 30th, 2012, 11:13 am | 
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