Posts tagged ‘emo-aggressive’

June 17th, 2012

"I am more sensitive than other people. Things that other people would not notice awaken a distinct…"

“I am more sensitive than other people. Things that other people would not notice awaken a distinct echo in me, and in such moments of lucidity, when I look at myself, I see that I am alone, all alone, all alone.”

- Henri Barbusse, Hell (translated by Edward J. O’Brien)
May 27th, 2012

"Words that were said aloud to me last night: “he’d rather fuck a fat girl with books than a hot girl…"

“Words that were said aloud to me last night: “he’d rather fuck a fat girl with books than a hot girl who reads Cosmo” and I said “fat girls are hot” but I should have said “put down my copy of silent weapons for quiet wars and get out of my house””

- FUCK//KILL//DEVOUR:  
April 19th, 2012

ourcatastrophe: probably my most unpopular opinion is that I just don’t care whether men learn to…

ourcatastrophe:

probably my most unpopular opinion is that I just don’t care whether men learn to cry or whatever.  like, at all.  not even if I like them, really.  I used to but I’ve burnt out completely.  when I say this it really horrifies people.  but I see the injunction to care about whether men learn to get in touch with their emotions as just another extension of some emotional caretaker girl role.  I just can’t deal with the layers of irony in being expected to participate energetically and approvingly in conversations about how men are learning to open up about their emotions, rather than leave the work of drawing them out to the women in their life. 

also I find the idea that men find it inherently hard to talk about feelings ridiculous.  I have rarely been at the receiving end of a truly whiny and burdensome FEELINGS monologue that was not from a dude and my social sphere is like 80% female so that’s saying something.  they seem to find it hard to talk about their feelings in a way that is honest and respectful and productive and not manipulative but that is not the same thing as finding it hard to “express emotions” per se, and I really do not need people telling them that expressing their feelings is an inherently feminist act.

obviously in some contexts men may have trouble expressing emotions/may feel ashamed of their emotions/may repress their emotions.  & some of this is because of gender roles.  but like.  the idea that any of this is unique to men or that they even experience it especially strongly is flat-out laughable.  and if you’re reading this being all like “wow, this is really passive-aggressive and bitter, chick needs to learn how to handle her rage” THEN CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE PROVEN MY POINT. 

relevant

April 15th, 2012

"the conflict, therefore, is not between females and males, but between SCUM — dominant, secure,…"

“the conflict, therefore, is not between females and males, but between SCUM — dominant, secure, self-confident, nasty, violent, selfish, independent, proud, thrill-seeking, free-wheeling, arrogant females, who consider themselves fit to rule the universe, who have free-wheeled to the limits of this `society’ and are ready to wheel on to something far beyond what it has to offer — and nice, passive, accepting `cultivated’, polite, dignified, subdued, dependent, scared, mindless, insecure, approval-seeking Daddy’s Girls, who can’t cope with the unknown, who want to hang back with the apes, who feel secure only with Big Daddy standing by, with a big strong man to lean on and with a fat, hairy face in the White House, who are too cowardly to face up to the hideous reality of what a man is, what Daddy is, who have cast their lot with the swine, who have adapted themselves to animalism, feel superficially comfortable with it and know no other way of `life’, who have reduced their minds, thoughts and sights to the male level, who, lacking sense, imagination and wit can have value only in a male `society’, who can have a place in the sun, or, rather, in the slime, only as soothers, ego boosters, relaxers and breeders, who are dismissed as inconsequents by other females, who project their deficiencies, their maleness, onto all females and see the female as worm.”

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valerie solanas, SCUM  (via karaj)

to the anon who asked me why people care about Valerie Solanas: relevant

April 14th, 2012

"the conflict, therefore, is not between females and males, but between SCUM — dominant, secure,…"

“the conflict, therefore, is not between females and males, but between SCUM — dominant, secure, self-confident, nasty, violent, selfish, independent, proud, thrill-seeking, free-wheeling, arrogant females, who consider themselves fit to rule the universe, who have free-wheeled to the limits of this `society’ and are ready to wheel on to something far beyond what it has to offer — and nice, passive, accepting `cultivated’, polite, dignified, subdued, dependent, scared, mindless, insecure, approval-seeking Daddy’s Girls, who can’t cope with the unknown, who want to hang back with the apes, who feel secure only with Big Daddy standing by, with a big strong man to lean on and with a fat, hairy face in the White House, who are too cowardly to face up to the hideous reality of what a man is, what Daddy is, who have cast their lot with the swine, who have adapted themselves to animalism, feel superficially comfortable with it and know no other way of `life’, who have reduced their minds, thoughts and sights to the male level, who, lacking sense, imagination and wit can have value only in a male `society’, who can have a place in the sun, or, rather, in the slime, only as soothers, ego boosters, relaxers and breeders, who are dismissed as inconsequents by other females, who project their deficiencies, their maleness, onto all females and see the female as worm.”

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valerie solanas, SCUM  (via karaj)

to the anon who asked me why people care about Valerie Solanas: relevant

April 14th, 2012

karaj: jenny holzer, from the living series,…



karaj:

jenny holzer, from the living series, 1980-1982 

relevant²

April 9th, 2012

"emo-agressive elfa males are the new passive-aggressive alpha males."

“emo-agressive elfa males are the new passive-aggressive alpha males.”

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mikkipedia

“emo-aggressive” is important. 

the other day one of the people with whom i share an ex was telling me about how he would talk about his past substance abuse issues and i was like, oh, yeah, he totally used to use that to get girls and, also, to take over every conversation. another person, with whom i share a different ex, was like “all the crying.” all the crying.

manipulative.  

so here is the book: you can go back to the 50s and talk about men not sharing their emotions with anyone except for their wives, blah blah, then talk about the 60s with, like, the esalen and t-group dudes sharing, sharing, sharing, and the new left men who tried to distance themselves from those dudes all the while following c. stuart mills’s “the personal is political” and thinking black culture was more authentic because it was more feeling even as they criticized feminist groups that did CR. then you can trace the 80s and 90s and, i don’t know, donahue and alan alda and the rise of indie bands or something. then you can get to now and men patting themselves on the back for being so in touch with their emotions while actually (as always) using them in a really patriarchal and oppressive way to drown out women’s feelings or insist on taking up more space or add to women’s affective labor or as a trick to actually avoid doing things or insist that women aren’t being vulnerable enough without any sense of the different stakes.

insidious sexism works better. plundering resources

find a few recent movies and novels and interview some couples therapists and at least you’ve got a nyt styles story. you’re welcome. 

(via karaj)

relevant.

Until corrected, I’m gonna qualify the above as white straight men and white straight women bec who else has the time for all this? RICE IN THE RADIATOR.

April 5th, 2012

Mr. Sandler characteristically turns his insecurity into aggression; he’s a bully pretending to be an underdog

Mr. Sandler characteristically turns his insecurity into aggression; he’s a bully pretending to be an underdog:

A.O. Scott calls out Adam Sandler on his emo-aggression.

March 30th, 2012

"he, like, explicitly asked for my discretion when we started fucking…but i am getting ready to marie calloway his ass"

karaj:

wait. wait. wait wait wait wait. um. first of all, everyone knows if you don’t want to be written about, don’t date a writer. (and who isn’t a writer? we all have the internet.) this goes double for dating feminist writers, who are probably committed to telling the truth about their relationships. “you’re hurting me” and “ethics” and “discretion” are such obvious coverups—by self-identified feminist men—for behavior both atrocious and foolish that they don’t want exposed or theorized. it is also what jennifer doyle calls, in sex objects, “the stubborn ignorance (and optimism) of male privilege.” good luck with this one, guys. really. we were dumb, but you were dumber, and you should read the audre lorde prominently displayed on your bookshelves. we certainly have.  

emo-agressive elfa males are the new passive-aggressive alpha males