Posts tagged ‘feminist privacy concerns’

June 4th, 2012

1: i bet if i sleep over his apartment i wont have to be his alarm clock OR his safe haven!

1: i bet if i sleep over his apartment i wont have to be his alarm clock OR his safe haven!
2: haha I can't wait until you are like "i have to use the rest room" and then peek to see if he is using his shower as a filing cabinet
1: do you think he has a post it on his wall with how many publications everyone has vs how many he has? do you think he doesnt wash his silverware he just buys plastic? i cant wait til he invites me to his apartment for a date and when i get there he is asleep and wont wake up.
1:we were broken up for a month and when i came back IT WAS STILL THERE.
he also had a post it note that said something like "when are you happy? what is making you happy?" also he has a lot of, like, marc jacobs ads ripped out and taped to his wall
2: oh my god he is some loser ben stiller movie come to life! a post it that says "what makes you happy?" you should have written SQUALOR
i think he will die of his own coke drinking and not sleeping and evil ways.
is it wrong that I think you have the makings of the best Modern Love column ever?
1: i know. i need to write my eat, pray, love. except instead of buddhism there is biting.
2: Ps tumblr all of this or just the highlights
1: ps. marie calloway is killing it.

I just want to note that part of this exchange occurred while I was at a party with Jane Fonda, Robin Morgan, and Gloria Steinem no lie.
May 17th, 2012

"well who is it for then?"


my father asked me this on the phone today, after he tried to talk to me about one of my posts, and i tried to tell him that it is really not a good idea for him to be reading my tumblr. i approve of willful not-knowing in many situations and i guess i am going to have to be the willful not-knower in this one; luckily, refusing to acknowledge who might be watching is a life skill that anyone who wears small dresses as often as i do is constantly honing. a part of me wanted to say “it’s for itself,” which is not untrue. “who is it for” is actually a really hard question. 

“Who is it for” is so important and so much one of my main things lately. (Things as in things that are relevant.) I mean, over connoisseurship, and that taxonomy trip, obv. But—and I tread lightly here, because it is not my body in this situation—when Makode Linde made that cake, it is important that he was making it for the white Swedish elite. He was using black women as subject matter, using their bodies, even impersonating them, but not considering them as a potential audience for the piece. Like, whose gaze never gets discussed? And let’s be honest, this is also what was so problematic about me doing First Guns and why I stopped doing it. Good intentions alert! I thought it was funny to have Michelle Obama’s arms respond to the media’s constant discourse about them. But it was appropriative way beyond a headdress. I’m always tempted to hit the delete button on it but I feel like it should be there, to remind me I need to work, and to not let me hide my fuck ups.

Will not post a long blah blah Habermas thing but he is relevant.

April 14th, 2012

karaj: jenny holzer, from the living series,…


jenny holzer, from the living series, 1980-1982 


March 30th, 2012

"he, like, explicitly asked for my discretion when we started fucking…but i am getting ready to marie calloway his ass"


wait. wait. wait wait wait wait. um. first of all, everyone knows if you don’t want to be written about, don’t date a writer. (and who isn’t a writer? we all have the internet.) this goes double for dating feminist writers, who are probably committed to telling the truth about their relationships. “you’re hurting me” and “ethics” and “discretion” are such obvious coverups—by self-identified feminist men—for behavior both atrocious and foolish that they don’t want exposed or theorized. it is also what jennifer doyle calls, in sex objects, “the stubborn ignorance (and optimism) of male privilege.” good luck with this one, guys. really. we were dumb, but you were dumber, and you should read the audre lorde prominently displayed on your bookshelves. we certainly have.  

emo-agressive elfa males are the new passive-aggressive alpha males

February 10th, 2012

this is how we compliment now.



“you realize how amazing this email is right? like, its gonna end up in the fales archives.”

death of the author or whatever but i am taking full credit for saying this. it’s all gonna end up in the fales archives, be ready. 

Mostly this is awesome because when my wing of the Fales is built (including my full set of Ben is Dead floppy discs! Feminist hoarding archiving!) I will insist every cat photo go in and visitors will also have to listen to a soundtrack made by me.

That said, I have always intended to donate all the relevant stuff to UCLA because it was there, using my mom’s library card and looking at Judy Chicago’s old zines and reading about Womanhouse and other projects, that Darby and I realized that we were part of something that was maybe are/more important than the punk. Of course when she donated the BiD stuff to UCLA she did it under her name and not the mag, which is typical but also annoying and now I am thinking about the BiD documentary and feeling totally nauseous.

Also, I will say that when a certain Punk Feminist Riot Girl sent me an email about her upcoming garage sale/purge giveaway I said “What about your archive” and she was all “I GAVE,” which she did, and we both laughed nervously because it still feels wrong but awesome too. It is amazing how comfortable most dudes—even good dudes—are with being well-known for the most minor of achievements and how uncomfortable women are with getting credit for anything. I mean seriously, there is an ex of mine who I love but I want to die when he notes with faux-modesty that his band was in a Trouser Press book and also once Nirvana opened for them. I mean he doesn’t do it often, but it happens. 

I know I externalize this; there are some women on Tumblr who note their achievements with regularity and it bugs the shit out of me. Working on it. And I know it isnt just sexism and racism although those are big parts of it, it was also my parents freaking out if I got an A- instead of an A but also insisting that I never talk about my grades or doing well in school and never giving me any credit because they didn’t want to make my brother feel bad. Which was well-intentioned but, as many things do, had consequences.

I fear this will all be greatly misunderstood but I don’t have time to talk about everything in therapy, so tumblr it is.