"You know those girls everyone loves to shit all over? The ones who really fucking love something?…"
- Segment of “Why I Fucking Love Teenage Girls (A Personal Essay from an Almost Adult)” (via jarpad)
The issue is that people—and by people, I mean feminists and their dudely allies—refused to listen to other women who were speaking loudly and clearly about why Hugo was a problem. WHY giving him a platform and a fucking megaphone was a problem. WHY being enthusiastic about him leading Slutwalk was a problem.
The issue isn’t that you were fooled. The issue is that you all didn’t fucking listen, you didn’t give a shit, you couldn’t be arsed to take the concerns of women of color into consideration, and you couldn’t be bothered to give the words of women of color any credibility. The issue is that a lot of you big name feminists and dudely allies berated and shamed the women who came forward by preaching about forgiveness and redemption and coopting concepts women of color had pioneered. That you shrugged it off and lectured HS’s critics on the important shit. That you talked about how he had chaaanged even though women of color were telling you his behavior towards them showed he hasn’t.
The issue is that you all—big name feminists and dudely dude allies—engaged in the same damn silencing techniques and belittling bullshit abuse enablers do.
HS is not an evil genius. He is not Hannibal Fucking Lechter. The fact is, if people came forward claiming to be shocked, shocked by Assange, or Polanski, or DSK, or any other lefty d00d we’ve known is a sexist, racist asshat, you’d rightly call them out on their bullshit. You’d ask them why they didn’t take the words of women into account. You’d ask them why they automatically deride those women who spoke up. You’d ask them why the words of women weren’t worth believing.
Well, I’m going to ask you: WHY AREN’T THE WORDS OF WOMEN BELIEVING?
Oh! Women of color. That’s why.
Exactly how confident am I supposed to feel about a movement that claims to speak for and fight for all women when the leaders act like dudely dudes to a huge swath of them?
"One event sometimes had infinite ramifications and could change the whole settings of a person’s life.”
― Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary
A Zed & Two Noughts (Peter Greenaway, 1985)
"We have to consciously study how to be tender with each other until it becomes a habit because what…"
i love this quotation, but i hate that most people quote it without the entire context, leaving the last, very important part out. she was speaking specifically about Black women, but people truncate the quotation to fit their agendas—not realizing that without the ending, they are reinforcing all of the reasons she wrote this in the first place.
"If women really were fated to be significantly more anxious than men, we would expect them to start…"
Wow: This quote I posted the other day now has 1100+ notes. I think the gendering of anxiety is really hitting home with a lot of people.
When you bump into him it’s the first time you’ve seen him in ten years. He looks the same.
“You look even better,” he says.
You do it at his place. He isn’t married, just like back then. He’s barely employed, just like back then. He’s still good in bed, just like back then. You tell him he hasn’t changed at all.
“I cry more now,” he says. “Sometimes for days at a stretch. Normal I suppose.”
You cry less.
“I also have more trouble going into buildings sometimes now,” he says. “Occasionally I’ll just start walking toward a building entrance and I’ll have to turn around and run. Part of aging I guess.”
That hasn’t happened to you yet.
“I also find myself following men who look well put together to see how they live and find out what they figured out. Is that something that just happens after 35?”
Yeah you don’t really do that at all.
“Anyway want to meet my squirrels?” he asks.
You tell him you have to head home.
“To your squirrels?” he asks, a little uneasy.
You don’t have any squirrels but just to calm him down you say, “Yes. They’re waiting for their nuts.”
He breathes a sigh of relief. He gave you a taste of your past, and you gave him the false hope that his present isn’t as off-course as he suspects it might be.
Happy He Cries More Now Day!