Posts tagged ‘important’

September 29th, 2013

"You know those girls everyone loves to shit all over? The ones who really fucking love something?…"

“You know those girls everyone loves to shit all over? The ones who really fucking love something? Those girls, man. They take all that energy, all that circulating fire in their veins, and instead of letting it destroy them, they choose to love, ferociously. Be it a band, or a book, or a series of films. They do it to keep themselves sane, and yet we mock them for it. Teenage girls find a buoy for themselves in the sea of emotional ruin, and they hold on tighter than anyone else.”

- Segment of “Why I Fucking Love Teenage Girls (A Personal Essay from an Almost Adult)” (via jarpad)
August 25th, 2013

Dear Feminist Leaders: I don’t care that you were "fooled"


The issue is that people—and by people, I mean feminists and their dudely allies—refused to listen to other women who were speaking loudly and clearly about why Hugo was a problem.  WHY giving him a platform and a fucking megaphone was a problem. WHY being enthusiastic about him leading Slutwalk was a problem.

The issue isn’t that you were fooled.  The issue is that you all didn’t fucking listen, you didn’t give a shit, you couldn’t be arsed to take the concerns of women of color into consideration, and you couldn’t be bothered to give the words of women of color any credibility. The issue is that a lot of you big name feminists and dudely allies berated and shamed the women who came forward by preaching about forgiveness and redemption and coopting concepts women of color had pioneered.  That you shrugged it off and lectured HS’s critics on the important shit.  That you talked about how he had chaaanged even though women of color were telling you his behavior towards them showed he hasn’t. 

The issue is that you all—big name feminists and dudely dude allies—engaged in the same damn silencing techniques and belittling bullshit abuse enablers do.

HS is not an evil genius. He is not Hannibal Fucking Lechter. The fact is, if people came forward claiming to be shocked, shocked by Assange, or Polanski, or DSK, or any other lefty d00d we’ve known is a sexist, racist asshat, you’d rightly call them out on their bullshit.  You’d ask them why they didn’t take the words of women into account.  You’d ask them why they automatically deride those women who spoke up.  You’d ask them why the words of women weren’t worth believing.

Well, I’m going to ask you: WHY AREN’T THE WORDS OF WOMEN BELIEVING?

Oh! Women of color. That’s why.

Exactly how confident am I supposed to feel about a movement that claims to speak for and fight for all women when the leaders act like dudely dudes to a huge swath of them?

July 23rd, 2013

slaughterhouse90210: "One event sometimes had infinite…


"One event sometimes had infinite ramifications and could change the whole settings of a person’s life.”
― Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary

February 24th, 2013

human-activities: A Zed & Two Noughts (Peter Greenaway,…


A Zed & Two Noughts (Peter Greenaway, 1985)

February 24th, 2013

Feb 24, 1989 WHO KILLED LAURA PALMER? via Joeyx’s Daily…

Feb 24, 1989


via Joeyx’s Daily Dose

December 13th, 2012

"We have to consciously study how to be tender with each other until it becomes a habit because what…"

“We have to consciously study how to be tender with each other until it becomes a habit because what was native has been stolen from us, the love of Black women for each other.”


Audre Lorde 

i love this quotation, but i hate that most people quote it without the entire context, leaving the last, very important part out. she was speaking specifically about Black women, but people truncate the quotation to fit their agendas—not realizing that without the ending, they are reinforcing all of the reasons she wrote this in the first place.

(via itsvisceral)

November 18th, 2012

"If women really were fated to be significantly more anxious than men, we would expect them to start…"

“If women really were fated to be significantly more anxious than men, we would expect them to start showing this nervousness at a very young age, right? Yet precisely the opposite is true: According to the UCLA anxiety expert Michelle Craske, in the first few months of infants’ lives, it’s boys who show greater emotional neediness. While girls become slightly more prone to negative feelings than boys at two years (which, coincidentally, is the age at which kids begin learning gender roles), research has shown that up until age 11, girls and boys are equally likely to develop an anxiety disorder. By age 15, however, girls are six times more likely to have one than boys are.”


Taylor Clark (via mindovermatterzine)

Wow: This quote I posted the other day now has 1100+ notes. I think the gendering of anxiety is really hitting home with a lot of people.

(via mindovermatterzine)

November 8th, 2012

He Cries More Now Day!


When you bump into him it’s the first time you’ve seen him in ten years. He looks the same.

“You look even better,” he says.

You do it at his place. He isn’t married, just like back then. He’s barely employed, just like back then. He’s still good in bed, just like back then. You tell him he hasn’t changed at all.

“I cry more now,” he says. “Sometimes for days at a stretch. Normal I suppose.”

You cry less.

“I also have more trouble going into buildings sometimes now,” he says. “Occasionally I’ll just start walking toward a building entrance and I’ll have to turn around and run. Part of aging I guess.”

That hasn’t happened to you yet.

“I also find myself following men who look well put together to see how they live and find out what they figured out. Is that something that just happens after 35?”

Yeah you don’t really do that at all.

“Anyway want to meet my squirrels?” he asks.

You tell him you have to head home.

“To your squirrels?” he asks, a little uneasy.

You don’t have any squirrels but just to calm him down you say, “Yes. They’re waiting for their nuts.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. He gave you a taste of your past, and you gave him the false hope that his present isn’t as off-course as he suspects it might be.

Happy He Cries More Now Day!


October 30th, 2012

friendlyangryfeminist: Abusers are really good at finding people who have already been groomed to…


Abusers are really good at finding people who have already been groomed to view abuse as ‘normal’. So please don’t wonder how someone could have been abused more than once and say shit like abuse survivors should know better. 

It’s not unheard of for survivors to go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship. Abuse has been so normalized for so many people that there is this deep rooted suspicion that all relationships are abusive. That everyone is faking it just like you’re faking it. That no one actually has non-toxic relationships. And that’s a type of coping mechanism right there, isn’t it?

Then there’s also the fact that survivors have complicated feelings towards their abusers. Sometimes we love our abusers. Sometimes we are dependent on our abusers and feel indebted. Sometimes we know it is abuse but we don’t know if anyone will take our side and help us. People would rather turn away then help us. Sometimes people would rather help cover up the abuse because it’s less messy. 

Sometimes these messy feelings keep us from realizing we’re being abused, even if we know the cycle of abuse, even if we’ve tried to help friends in messy relationships. It can’t be abuse, we’re in love. It can’t be abuse, he takes care of us. It can’t be abuse because I can’t see myself as someone being abused. Etc, etc, etc. 

October 25th, 2012

content note: incest/rape


i mean, just as a way to rethink and recenter the “debate” around abortion

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relevant and important