Posts tagged ‘real talk’

May 5th, 2013

Getting Prescriptive.

Really not into “feminism” or “activism” that is just  self-aggrandizing confrontation.

Tip: if the takeaway is your name, you’re doing it wrong.

Tip: If you ignore valid criticism to focus on and mock “haters” you’re doing it wrong.

Tip: If you like to coin phrases like “slut shaming” and “rape culture”and then spend half your time explaining them to people as a a way to institutionalize and situate yourself for funding, while ignoring stuff like “racism” and “racism within feminism” and “class issues within feminism,” you’re really doing it wrong.

Tip: If you have a feminist ebook club and have not published one lady of color, you are doing it wrong.

February 21st, 2013

OUR RECORDS HAVE STICKERS WITH A WARNING FROM TIPPER



OUR RECORDS HAVE STICKERS WITH A WARNING FROM TIPPER

January 12th, 2013

Once I found my dad’s name in the phone book, next to mine, with a West LA address. I called…

Once I found my dad’s name in the phone book, next to mine, with a West LA address. I called the number. He answered.

“Is this the voice of the woman I love?”

No, I said. This is your daughter.

I can’t remember the order of the lies. He was joking, he was at his friend’s apartment and his friend’s wife was supposed to call so he was teasing her. He was in New York on a business trip and they had forwarded his office phone to New York. He had forgotten to tell me he bought an apartment near Bel Air so he didn’t have to drive all the way to Palos Verdes every night.

I think you are lying, I said. I hung up the phone and wondered what to do. He called back but I wouldn’t pick up.

Two nights later we all had Thanksgiving at a restaurant. He announced he was separating from my mom during the meal. My mom cried.

January 12th, 2013

When I was five or six my dad took me out to the city for a special fun day. We went to the park and…

When I was five or six my dad took me out to the city for a special fun day. We went to the park and had a picnic with a lady. Afterwards he said, “When we tell mom about today we don’t have to say the lady was there.” I nodded.

January 2nd, 2013

naazee: we post about misandry and hating men but let’s be real even in our wildest dreams we can…

naazee:

we post about misandry and hating men but let’s be real even in our wildest dreams we can never hate them as much as they hate us 

June 30th, 2012

All week it’s been as if a giant lever was dislodging some…



All week it’s been as if a giant lever was dislodging some of the last remaining solidities in my life. Lady Icarus made another run for the sun; my mental and physical health, both precarious, but previously parallel, show signs of intersecting in dangerous ways; a beloved community of more than 20 years is dying; even Paul Schimmel’s firing and Paula Harper’s death feel like part of a storm surge that will carry me even further away from any kind of peace or stability I’ve scrabbled together. Sometimes the difference between drowning and swimming is negligible. Either way everything changes, again.

June 16th, 2012

Real talk: Neurontin makes me so absent minded that I worry constantly about fucking up pronouns. I…

Real talk: Neurontin makes me so absent minded that I worry constantly about fucking up pronouns. I can barely remember names lately, if they are new, and I used to never have a problem with that. If I do it, tell me, and keep telling me and this is not an excuse but part of the process.  

June 15th, 2012

muchomegamountains: quixotess: muchomegamountains: and what’s more—all those fucking feminists at…

muchomegamountains:

quixotess:

muchomegamountains:

and what’s more—all those fucking feminists at Elite University that told me that I was “ridiculous” and “out there” for asking why we weren’t organizing in shelters, welfare offices, churches, English as a second language classes, etc—because, see, recruitment is so much easier and makes so much more sense on college campuses and it’s so *natural* and it’s so *powerful* and we need to get all the young white college women to call themselves feminists and they actually *understand* why feminism is important—

y’all can bite my big old flaccid hairy vagina.

right after you admit to me that the only reason any of this is even happening is BECAUSE *f*eminism decided the benefits of segregation were more impressive than “women’s lives.”

i.e. *F*eminism is a classist, racist, asshole that has an aversion to talking to people who refuse to masturbate it’s intellectual hard on.

i.e. the “war on women” is aided and abetted on many levels by *F*eminism itself.

and that’s why all their stuff (like slutwalk) folds after a couple of months.

did i make that bold enough??? I DON’T THINK I DID.

and that’s why all their stuff (like slutwalk) folds after a couple of months.

and that’s why all their stuff (like slutwalk) folds after a couple of months.

and that’s why all their stuff (like slutwalk) folds after a couple of months.

and that’s why all their stuff (like slutwalk) folds after a couple of months.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

REAL TALK

awareness

June 14th, 2012

amandaonwriting: AL Kennedy – On Writing 1 Have humility….



amandaonwriting:

AL Kennedy - On Writing

1 Have humility. Older/more ­experienced/more convincing writers may offer rules and varieties of advice. ­Consider what they say. However, don’t automatically give them charge of your brain, or anything else – they might be bitter, twisted, burned-out, manipulative, or just not very like you.

2 Have more humility. Remember you don’t know the limits of your own abilities. Successful or not, if you keep pushing beyond yourself, you will enrich your own life – and maybe even please a few strangers.

3 Defend others. You can, of course, steal stories and attributes from family and friends, fill in filecards after lovemaking and so forth. It might be better to celebrate those you love – and love itself – by writing in such a way that everyone keeps their privacy and dignity intact.

4 Defend your work. Organisations, institutions and individuals will often think they know best about your work – especially if they are paying you. When you genuinely believe their decisions would damage your work – walk away. Run away. The money doesn’t matter that much.

5 Defend yourself. Find out what keeps you happy, motivated and creative.

6 Write. No amount of self-inflicted misery, altered states, black pullovers or being publicly obnoxious will ever add up to your being a writer. Writers write. On you go.

7 Read. As much as you can. As deeply and widely and nourishingly and irritatingly as you can. And the good things will make you remember them, so you won’t need to take notes.

8 Be without fear. This is impossible, but let the small fears drive your rewriting and set aside the large ones ­until they behave – then use them, maybe even write them. Too much fear and all you’ll get is silence.

9 Remember you love writing. It wouldn’t be worth it if you didn’t. If the love fades, do what you need to and get it back.

10 Remember writing doesn’t love you. It doesn’t care. Nevertheless, it can behave with remarkable generosity. Speak well of it, encourage others, pass it on.

Alison Louise Kennedy is a Scottish writer of novels, short stories and non-fiction. 

This advice first appeared in The Guardian

 at first I thought this said “defriend others” and I was like ON IT, STARTED IT, LIVING IT, then I realized. Having abnormal accommodation can add a lot of texture to life.

That said there might be nothing I hate more than people talking about a writer’s life or how they have to write! it’s like breathing! STOP BOTH.

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June 11th, 2012

emilysyrja: If we’re being real here, the main reason I’m not leaving my apartment is that I feel I…

emilysyrja:

If we’re being real here, the main reason I’m not leaving my apartment is that I feel I am too ugly to be seen by others.

Emily. That is how I feel every day every minute all the time. I want to apologize to people for having to look at me.

I don’t know what to say to people any more. What can you say? “It gets better”? I mean, that’s a joke. My friend Katy’s mom killed herself when she was my age, and I remember thinking god if I still feel like this when I am that old I am giving myself full permission to check out, but I keep hanging around for no good reason.